


Ace of Hearts

by GythaOgg



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Feels, Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Bad Parent Mary Winchester, Biromantic Castiel, Caring John Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Frottage, Good Parent John Winchester, Grey-Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mary Winchester Lives, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 09:20:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16720632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GythaOgg/pseuds/GythaOgg
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel Engel meet in their third year of college, and hit it off right away. Castiel is asexual (grey-ace), and has given up on romance after several disappointing attempts, so he doesn't even notice that Dean is flirting with him. They're just friends, until they're not. But how do they navigate the complications that come from a non-sexual romance? And just how non-sexual is it, exactly?Translation to Russian by Dash_Ville can be found at https://ficbook.net/readfic/7725909 .





	Ace of Hearts

                Dean Winchester and Castiel Engle are aware of each other long before they actually meet. They’ve had a few classes together over the last couple of years, and they’ve seen each other at a few parties and college events. Dean occasionally comes into the coffee shop that Cas works at, and Cas is pretty sure he spotted Dean bartending at The Roadhouse in town once. They have a few friends in common, too; most notably, Charlie Bradbury. When they finally do officially meet, it’s at a party in Charlie’s apartment. Cas walks into Charlie’s living room, right into an argument over whether the Hobbit counts as part of LOTR series. Dean reaches up from the couch and wraps his hand around Castiel’s wrist, looks him dead in the eye and says, “Dude – Is there anything in the Hobbit that’s prerequisite-level information; stuff you NEED to know, in order to understand The Lord of the Rings books? Anything?” Castiel tilts his head and stares down at Dean, brows creased in concentration. “No, I think The Lord of the Rings stands on its own. You don’t need to read the Hobbit, or the Silmarillion, for the LOTR books to make sense. You SHOULD, and it certainly helps inform the story, but you don’t NEED to.” At that, Dean smiles brightly, pulls Cas down onto the couch, and hands him what’s left of the joint in his hand. “Atta boy. I knew I was gonna like you.”

                The two spend hours smoking and talking and drinking beer that night. Dean is a Mechanical Engineering major, but he’s taken so many Lit classes that he accidentally ended up with a minor in Literature. Cas is a Classical Studies major, with a minor in Ancient Languages. Dean is Bisexual; Cas is Asexual. Both are single. They both love cheeseburgers, Sam Adams beer, Led Zeppelin, and coffee. Dean reads voraciously, but mostly fantasy (Tolkein, Eddings, Brooks, and Jordan) and Beat writers (Vonnegut, Kerouac, Burroughs, and Holmes). He can muddle along in Spanish, but he’d hardly call himself bilingual. Castiel, on the other hand, reads ancient Greek, biblical Hebrew, Aramaic, and even some ancient Norse runes, as well as some Latin, and modern Spanish. He’s read most of the major works by Homer, Plato, Tacticus, and Plutarch, as well as dozens of ancient texts that Dean has never heard of. But he’s also read all of Tolkein, all the Harry Potter books, and all the Wheel of Time books. Dean is horrified to learn that Cas has seen none of the “important” movies . . . no Star Wars, Star Trek, or Indiana Jones films, not Tron, not Blade Runner, not Mad Max, not even Gremlins or ET!

                Cas and Dean exchange numbers that night, and they start hanging out quite a bit. By the end of the month, they’re great friends. By the end of the semester, Dean is pretty sure he wants to be more than friends, but Cas always seems oblivious to his flirting. Dean thinks maybe he’s being too subtle, so he ups the ante, complimenting Cas a lot and holding doors open for him, bringing him coffee and buying him drinks. Still nothing. He makes out with a guy right in front of Cas, hoping to spark some jealousy, but Cas just calmly walks out of the room, then mocks Dean about his taste in boys later. He toys with the idea of “accidentally” letting Cas see him naked, but with Cas being asexual, he figures that’s just pointless. After a while, he runs out of ideas, and gives up his increasingly over-the-top attempts at flirting.

                They continue on, hanging out, studying together, and taking occasional road trips. By the end of their Junior year, the apartment upstairs from Charlie opens up, and Dean and Cas decide to move in together. Neither of them have plans to go home that summer, so they move in right away, and spend the summer working, decorating their first apartment, and hanging out together. Sam comes to visit for a couple of weeks in July, and he and Cas hit it off right away. They play chess, talk about philosophy, and have long, theoretical arguments. Sam wants to go to law school someday, so Cas coaches him in Latin. They go running together and eat salads. Dean gets a tiny bit jealous, pouting when he’s left out of their conversations, and Sam and Cas team up to make fun of him for it. It’s all so domestic, and Dean never wants it to end.

                Dean knows he’s falling in love, but Cas has always ignored his flirtations, or laughed them off, and Dean has to accept that either Cas just isn’t interested in him personally, or maybe Cas is aromantic as well as asexual. After all, he never dates, and never expresses any interest in dating. Maybe they’re just destined to be friends forever. Dean figures he should be happy with whatever he gets, where Cas is concerned, because he’d rather have him as a friend than not have him in his life at all. So, that’s that.

                Cas, as it turns out, is NOT aromantic. He’d love to have a romantic relationship, but literally no one that he’s ever been remotely interested in (male, female, or otherwise) has been able to deal with his asexuality. Everyone’s priority in college seemed to be sex, sex, sex, first and foremost, and Cas just wasn’t into it. He’s tried sex (with women and men, just to make sure), and it wasn’t awful. It felt good, physically, and he can see the appeal, but it certainly wasn’t mind-blowing, and he can’t imagine craving it. Cas is ‘sex positive’, according to the asexual websites he’s found: he doesn’t find sex _repellant_ , he’s just indifferent; he doesn’t have physical desire. When he tries to explain it, he compares it to the way most people feel about a massage – it feels good, but most people don’t yearn for it, or think about it all the time. He can appreciate physical beauty, and his body certainly responds to the physical sensations of sex, but he’s never WANTED anyone, not like that. The few girls he’s dated have either tried to seduce him out of his asexuality, or grown increasingly insecure about the fact that he didn’t find them desirable (as if it’s them in particular, when really, Cas doesn’t find ANYONE sexually desirable). Most of the men he’s liked have had zero interest in him, once they found out sex wasn’t on the table. The only guy he’s ever dated was a virgin named Alfie, and he was really only with Cas because Cas was the only guy who didn’t pressure Alfie for sex. That only lasted three months, until Alfie decided he was ready to ‘take the plunge’, but it was the longest relationship Cas has ever had. That was in Sophomore year, and Cas pretty much gave up on dating after that. The only other Ace he’s ever met was kind of a condescending bitch, so they never even became friends. Cas wants to be in love, wants to cuddle and know everything about someone, wants someone who will make him coffee in the morning, and argue over what to have for dinner, and kiss him goodnight. He wants kids, someday, but he doesn’t feel very optimistic about that anymore. Every time he’s tried the relationship thing, he’s been hurt or disappointed (or both), so he just ignores the come ons and the flirts; pretends he doesn’t even notice. In fact, he’s been doing it for so long, that now, Cas really doesn’t notice. He just tunes it out. So he has no idea that Dean is falling in love with him.

                Dean is, ironically, exactly what Cas would like in a partner. He’s beautiful, clever, funny, sarcastic, and sweet. They have things in common, but they’re different enough that that they never run out of things to discuss, watch, or do together. They watch Dr. Sexy reruns and debate which characters should be together. They come up with theoretical “what if” scenarios for historical events or epic literary moments. They teach each other things, and help each other through challenges. They train for and complete a Tough Mudder race together, and then eat everything they can get their hands on the next day. Their strengths complement each other: Cas can barely hammer a nail into the wall, while Dean is exceptionally handy. Cas can’t really cook, but he’s a great baker, while Dean is the opposite. Cas could get lost walking around the corner, while Dean has almost preternatural internal GPS, and always knows where he’s going. Dean talks a lot, and Cas is a great listener. Dean is charming and impulsive, while Cas is intuitive and insightful. They’re bizarrely good at Charades, Pictionary, and Monikers, to the point where no one will play them anymore, if Dean and Cas are on a team together. They give each other excellent advice, and Cas is one of the only people Dean really opens up to. They just fit together.

                Cas knows damn well that he’s had a crush on Dean since the day they met, but he also knows Dean has a very active sex life, so Cas assumes it’s yet another lost cause, and he immediately squashes his crush. Once they move in together after their Junior year, his assumption is only reinforced by the parade of partners that Dean brings home. To Dean’s credit, he is a gentleman – his hookups always stay the night, and Dean is usually up early, making them breakfast by the time Cas stumbles into the kitchen, barely awake enough to accept the coffee Dean always has ready for him.

                After the first few months of living together, however, Dean stops bringing people home. He goes out less and less, and confesses to Cas that he’s kind of sick of one night stands and recreational dating. Cas commiserates with him, and they talk about the idea of settling down, how they both want to be fathers one day, and how great Dean is with kids. Cas gets a little quiet after that, staring at his own feet, and he doesn’t notice the wistful, adoring look in Dean’s eyes when he’s staring at Cas. Dean goes downstairs to Charlie’s 10 minutes later, and spends the next few hours crying on her shoulder about unrequited love and how he’ll never find anyone as good as Cas.

                Finally, just before Thanksgiving, Dean decides he’s got to know one way or another. He’ll never forgive himself if he doesn’t at least TRY with Cas, so he decides to just ask. He’s never been great with emotional conversations, so frankly, he’s terrified, but he sits Cas down after a Harrison Ford mini marathon, and goes for it.

**“Cas, why don’t you ever date?”**

_“You know I’m ace, Dean.”_

**“Yeah, but are you aro, too?”**

_“No, it just hasn’t worked out with anyone . . . ever . . . so I’ve just stopped trying, I guess.”_

**“Because they want sex and you don’t?”**

                This launches a long discussion about relationship priorities, and intimacy, and sex-positivity, and at the end of it, Dean says, “Well then, what about me?” Cas has no idea what he’s talking about, so Dean clarifies: “You should go out with me, Cas. I’m asking you out.” Cas’s reaction is not the rom-com ideal that Dean had hoped for. Cas is incredulous, pointing out all the sex Dean’s had, and insisting that it would just end up the same as all of Cas’s previous experiences. But Dean is ready for that argument. He very patiently explains to Cas that he has so much sex because it’s the only intimacy, the only touch, that he ever really gets. He wants the intimacy, the connection, the contact, far more than the orgasm, but college kids are rarely looking for anything serious, and most people don’t see any further than his pretty face, his height, his muscles, or his dick. Cas is dumbfounded. He’d been so sure that Dean is hypersexual, just as Cas is asexual, but maybe he’s been looking at things all wrong. He finally, reluctantly, agrees, and he and Dean start dating.

                Not much changes, really, since they already spend so much time together, except that now they touch _all the time_. Now that Dean is finally allowed to touch Cas, it’s like a dam has broken. They cuddle on the couch, they hug, they lean on each other, they hold hands, they kiss. Cas trusts Dean to respect his boundaries, and he finds that incredibly freeing. Cas loves to be held and to kiss, and he always feels a thrill of pride when they walk around in public holding hands. After a few months, they even start sleeping in the same bed. It’s everything Cas wants, and though he’s often paranoid that Dean is not getting all of his needs fulfilled, Dean swears up and down that he’s never been happier.

                There are, of course, periodic issues with their relationship. Late in their Senior year, that rich brat Bela Talbot finds out that the happy couple doesn’t have sex, and she sees it as a challenge. She’s always had a thing for Dean, and now she tries to steal him away, using sex as bait. And Dean is tempted (Bela is gorgeous, after all), but he doesn’t fall for it. He very carefully lifts the half-naked girl off his lap, averts his eyes, and hands Bela the blouse that she dropped. He tells her she’s beautiful, and sexy, and if he wasn’t in love, he’d be all over her . . . but he IS in love, and he’s not doing anything to fuck that up. Dean comes home very stressed out and half-hard, and he tells Cas what happened. This is, of course, Cas’s worst fear, and he’s astonished that Dean turned Bela away. When he calms down, Cas throws himself in Dean’s lap and kisses him for all he’s worth, but after a few minutes, Dean is way too worked up, and begs Cas to give him a little “alone time”, so he can take care of himself. He goes to their bedroom and strips, intent on getting off as quickly as possible, so he doesn’t inadvertently put any pressure on Cas. After a moment, however, Cas follows him, and crawls up on the bed behind him. Dean is a little freaked out by this turn of events, but Cas says he wants to help. He kisses Dean’s neck, and nips at his ear, and runs his hands through Dean’s hair, and pinches his nipples, while Dean jerks off. It’s one of the hottest things Dean has ever experienced, and he’s overwhelmed with how close he feels to Cas afterwards. Cas is filled with love for Dean, and he seriously thinks about sending Bela Talbot a fruit basket.

                Six years after they meet, Dean proposes. He spends months designing and building a puzzle box with a ring inside, and gives it to Cas on his birthday. It takes Cas almost a week to solve the puzzle and open the box, but when he does, he screams so loud that Dean comes running into the bedroom, afraid Cas has hurt himself. Cas says yes, and seems delighted by the proposal, but then drags his feet on the wedding plans. Four months go by, then six. Finally, Cas admits that he’s terrified Dean will realize he’s made a horrible mistake, once they’re married. He feels guilty; he thinks he’s robbing Dean of something, by asking him to commit to abstinence for the rest of his life. Dean reassures him again and again, pointing out that HE proposed to CAS. He tells Cas that he’d rather lay on the couch with him, than have the best sex in the world with anyone else. It takes a few days and a few teary conversations, but eventually, they get past it. They have a beautiful wedding the following year.

Some of their issues have nothing to do with asexuality, of course. When Dean’s mom realizes, about three years in, that Dean and Cas are going to be a permanent thing, she gets a little crazy. Dean’s never actually been in the closet, so Mary always knew he was bi, and she’s always liked Cas. But apparently, she assumed Dean would eventually end up with a woman, and when she realizes that Cas is The One for Dean, she starts freaking out about grandbabies. She turns cold towards Cas, and tries to steer Dean away from him. Fortunately, Dean’s dad is unfailingly supportive of his children, and he talks Mary down, in no uncertain terms. Not only is Sam likely to get married and have babies, but Dean and Cas have talked about kids for years, and they’re probably going to adopt, when they’re ready. John points all of this out to Mary, and reminds her that it doesn’t matter if their grandchildren are biologically related to them or not, because “family don’t end in blood”. He tells her point-blank that Cas is the best thing to ever happen to their boy, and that Mary better get behind their relationship, because it’s not going anywhere. Though John never specifically says so, Dean is pretty sure it’s the single worst fight his parents have ever had. Mary shapes up pretty quickly after that, apologizing to Dean and Cas, and never mentions it again. Cas forgives her, but he never quite warms up to her again. John, on the other hand, has Cas’s eternal gratitude and loyalty.

                When John dies two years later, hit by a drunk driver, Sam and Cas are both pretty messed up over it, but Dean is a wreck. He’s always been very close with his dad, and Dean is devastated that he won’t be there to walk Dean down the aisle, or to see his grandchildren, and that Dean will never get to see his father grow old. He starts drinking too much, and alternates between heartbroken and terribly angry. Cas tries to give him room, to let him process his grief, but he grows increasingly worried. Sam tries to intervene, but Dean blows him off. This goes on for weeks, but eventually, Dean breaks down in Cas’s arms, and agrees to go see a counselor. This helps enormously, and Dean dumps his last bottle of whiskey down the drain and gets back on track. He continues to see the counselor, a woman named Missouri, on and off for several years, and she does wonders for Dean’s self-esteem, his coping mechanisms, and his insecurity.

                Although it’s very rare, Cas and Dean DO have sex, now and then. Cas recognizes the unique potential for emotional and physical connection that sex offers, and he’s occasionally willing to initiate sex, in one form or another. The first time is in college, the night Bela Talbot tries to seduce Dean, and Cas helps him jerk off. On their wedding night, Cas strips them naked, pulls out a bottle of Astroglide, and takes them both in hand (despite Dean’s repeated assurances that he doesn’t have to). He did the same thing, the night that Dean cried in his arms about John’s death. It’s an expression of deep emotion for Cas, and Dean is awed every time it happens. The night before they sign the adoption papers for their daughter, they’re both so keyed up, their make-out session goes much further than it ever has before, and Cas gives his husband a prostate massage. They only ever have intercourse once, the night that Cas almost dies, in anaphylactic shock from an allergy to a new medication. He’s only in the hospital for a few hours, and he’s fine, but Dean is absolutely horrified at nearly losing the love of his life. He’s terribly rattled, and can’t stop staring at Cas, touching him, trying to reassure himself that his husband is still there, still alive. That night, Cas lays Dean out in their bed, opens him up, and makes love to him, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

                But for the most part, they don’t. They kiss and hug, they cuddle and hold hands, and touch all the time. They fall asleep in each other’s arms. They’re very affectionate, actually. They just stop short of the grinding and fucking. Dean still masturbates, of course, and sometimes Cas gets involved, and that works out just fine. By the time they’re in their 40s, they’re more physically affectionate than many of their friends, who barely touch their spouses. They love each other more than anything else in the world, and it was never about the sex.

 


End file.
